Scientists have proved beyond doubt that a mother’s love is fundamental to the way and manner in which a child’s intellect and character develops. The mothers of Chinonso and Chika have been in the news recently. Both loved their offspring in different ways with completely different outcomes. Chinonso’s mother is in mourning. He was a 21 year old boy who took his life in Kubwa a satellite town of the Federal Capital City Abuja.
After drinking a substance suspected to be rat poison, he left a suicide letter in which he begged his mother to forgive him for his inability to measure up to her expectations. He ended the disconcerting letter by saying he wanted to go and “rest”. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that one million people worldwide commit suicide annually. This in effect means that someone dies of suicide approximately every 40 seconds.
The WHO also reports that suicide is second leading cause of death amongst 15 – 24 year olds. As bad as these figures are, they don’t include suicide attempts which are about 20 times more frequent than actual suicides. The majority of young people who commit suicide aren’t mentally ill, most of them take their lives as a result of depression, reactions to failure, response to accumulated domestic violence, unemployment, alcohol dependence or drug abuse.
Available records reveal that young Nigerians tragically ended their own lives for reasons as varied as lack of funds to pay school fees; being jilted and their wedding called off, not being able get pregnant, being declared HIV positive, being caught cheating in examinations, having their pregnancy rejected by the alleged father, or as a result of arguments with their parents. Quite absurdly Andrew Uba a 26 year old from Okigwe Imo State committed suicide because Manchester United lost the Champions League football final! In Chinonso’s case reports have it that he had complained to his friends about his mother’s habitual scolding.
She admonished him for not doing well in school, rebuked him whenever he wanted to sleep asking if he intended to sleep his life away, and chided him for having such a large appetite when food cost money! There is no doubt that she loved her son and only wanted the best for him, but what he really needed was someone to help him develop a resilience to the ups and downs of life, a sense of self-worth and self-confidence.
Experts claim that suicide has three identifiable stages. Firstly the “ideation” stage when the idea of suicide occurs, secondly the suicide attempt in which the plan is not successfully carried out for whatever reason, then lastly the actual suicide. If help comes in either of the first two stages death can be prevented. African tradition would not allow Chinonso to report his overbearing mother to his family. It’s just not done, if he had tried he would have been labelled a disrespectful child.
What both the mother and child needed was counselling. The increasing number of suicides in the nation makes it imperative that our Social Counselling Services become functional and effective. There must be places where people can go to receive advice and support outside of family members. Chinonso’s mother obviously meant well, unfortunately for her she will have to live with her loss. Chika’s mother on the other hand is a different kettle of fish. She never regarded her son as a failure. Far from it, he was the apple of her eye.
Her beloved son Chika had rented an apartment in the Lagos suburb of Ejigbo, where he accommodated her and his siblings. His wife and children are based in Canada and he drove a flashy new model Range Rover Jeep. As far as she was concerned he was “successful and responsible” and ensured his family lived a life of comfort and luxury. He was the breadwinner but she never cared to ask where all the bread came from! Chika’s only job was as a Cabin Crew with Arik Airline.
The mystery of his unexplained wealth was solved when he was arrested recently at London’s Heathrow Airport by the UK border Force Officials. He was in possession of 20 kilograms of cocaine with a street value of N100 million. It wasn’t the first time he had done it. His accomplice Oliver Chibuzor a catering loader at the airline confessed to officials of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) that he helps smuggle the drugs onto the aircraft concealed in catering supplies.
Chibuzor claimed he was usually paid N400,000 per bag and was expecting N1.2 million from the three bags he loaded for this particular transaction. Even though she was surrounded by luxuries which her son’s salary could not afford, Chika’s mother incredulously claims she had no idea anything was amiss! Standing firmly by her son she says he is a “good boy” who must have been misled. She has very little to regret. The sleeping and feeding arrangements inside British prisons are superior to most medium sized hotels in Nigeria, and Chika will not suffer unduly from his incarceration. The unanswered question in the reactions of the two mothers to their children’s behaviour is this – If Chinonso had been a successful criminal like Chika would he have earned his mother’s praise, respect and unwavering support and still be alive today?

Title – A Talee of Two Mothers

Summary- Two diffrent types of suicide, feeling not good enough and feeling like you are being treated to hard

Impact- This impacts me because I have known people who do not feel important enough to live. So this artical affects me trumendously. As of it’s effect on the world, according to this artical 2 people are no longer alive because they didn’t feel like they where good enough or could take it anymore. This should make an impact on the world, to let us know what we can do for others to stop this from happening, there should be something done.